From the Sidelines
by Elemental Gypsy
Summary: All Ray can do is watch from the sidelines. Watching as Kai sneaks out in the middle of the night, running to the arms of another. It hurts, but that’s all he can do.


Title: From the Sidelines  
Summary: All Ray can do is watch from the sidelines. Watching as Kai sneaks out in the middle of the night, running to the arms of another. It hurts, but that's all he can do.  
Pairings: Mentioned Miguel/Kai, Onesided Ray/Kai  
Warnings: Yaoi, Oneshot, Ray's POV.  
Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade.

Um, yeah. Don't know where this came from to tell you the truth. It just…poof! It just appeared in this head of mine. Well, anyway, I hope you like it all the same. Enjoy!

* * *

He's doing it again.

Sneaking out in the middle of the night.

I can't help but sigh as I lean my elbow against the window sill, watching as Kai disappears into the dark night. He's running. To him.

He doesn't know that I know. He does this every night. He waits until everyone falls asleep before sneaking out of the window and taking off into the night, only to return an hour or so before sunrise.

I usually follow him. You know? Just to make sure he's ok. Not that it's necessary now. I know where he's going. And I know he's more than safe there.

It took me a few nights to follow him. On the first night he must have realizes someone was following him and took the necessary precautions. In other words, I lost sight of him. Yeah, the streets were completely empty, not a sound to be heard, yet I lost him. I swear, he's like a ninja sometimes. The stealth he possesses is amazing. Not even a neko-jin such as myself is that quiet.

The second night it happened again, I decided I wouldn't be able to sleep until Kai gets back so ended up wandering all over the town. Annoying the neighborhood dogs, waking their owners, that sort of thing. Just as I was about to head back I accidentally caught sight of Kai sneaking out of a hotel room, from the balcony that was three stories high. He jumped down to the balcony just below him and then jumped to the next, effortlessly landing softly on the ground before running away. I glanced up towards the balcony to see Miguel lean over the railing. He watched as Kai fades off into the distance. He then sighed before he turned to walk back inside.

It never dawned on me why Kai was sneaking out in the middle of the night to visit Miguel in his hotel room. So naturally, I was curious. I knew where Kai was heading to now, so all I had to do was wait until the next night to find out why he's sneaking out.

I silently followed from a safe distance as Kai made his way to the same hotel. I hid in a tree as Kai easily slipped on to the balcony where Miguel was waiting for him. Miguel wasted no time. When Kai was safe, he pulled him into his arms and…

He kissed him.

And Kai kissed back.

It was lucky that I had a good grip on the tree branch I was sitting on. If I hadn't, I would have fallen off right there and then. All I could do was gape. I mean, what could I have done? Honestly?

I never saw it coming to tell you the truth. I mean, I thought, you know, that Kai and I would be together. I mean, we're always paired together. Sharing the same room. Hell, I was the only person Kai could tolerate most of the time.

Yes, I like Kai. A lot. Heck, I think I'm in love with the dual hair enigma.

I'm not sure why, but I really thought that if Kai would to fall for someone, it was going to be me. Tyson would be with Max, Kenny with Hilary and Daichi would…well, I'm not sure what Daichi would do. Hang in the background and be an nuisance? It was all planned. Everyone would be together and that's how things would stay.

But, that all changed. Not just Kai, but everyone else too. You see, Max took off for a few days with his dad and now he's dating Enrique! Yeah, didn't see that coming either. I always thought Enrique would be with Oliver. I'm not sure how they ended up together, Max just said that they clicked and it happened.

Sounds like something that would happen in the movies, but ok.

Tyson is trying his best to court Kane in his own clumsy, loud sort of way. Kane, on the other hand has no idea what Tyson is attempting to do. He's strangely oblivious to his oh-so subtle advances. Although, he does get super annoyed whenever his teammate Jim would go near Tyson. Some sort of love triangle going on there.

Kenny is far too busy fawning over Ming-Ming and Hilary is too busy squealing over everyone else's relationships to even think about getting in one herself.

She'd die if she knew Kai was in a relationship. Not out of jealousy, but out of squealing with girlish glee. She nearly broke Max's eardrums when she learnt of his relationship. The words "Oh my God!" and "So cute!" could be heard for miles.

I push myself from the window, sighing. I crawl back into bed. Kai won't be back until morning. I can't help but feel disappointed that he's running to Miguel and not me. I truly never imagined him running to anyone, but, here we are.

I can't bring myself to hate him. Miguel. I just can't. He's far too nice to hate. I know, I know, a lot of people would be saying that I should hate him, for taking Kai away from me, blah, blah, blah!

But the thing is, he didn't take Kai away from me. Kai was never mine to begin with. He's my friend. One of my best friends. He may have taken Kai's love from me, but he didn't take away his friendship. Yes, we're still friends.

I should be happy for him. And I am, don't get me wrong. I've never seen Kai so happy before. He's changed. A lot. He's more open now. He's affectionate too. Miguel did that. Helped him to realize that there are people out there who care for him. And that he is worthy of such love and friendship.

I know he'll take good care of Kai.

Kai is a hell a lot more fragile than anyone could possibly know. He looks tough, but that's only an act. Underneath, he's really vulnerable. Since I'm the only person he can tolerate enough to sleep in the same room with, we were always paired up when we were touring as the Bladebreakers and I quickly found out how fragile Kai can be. Night fevers are a common occurrence. Nightmares happen every time he falls asleep. A simple head or chest cold can knock him out for a few days.

Of course, no one other than myself knows about this. Kai had made me promise not to tell anyone. He doesn't want to be a burden.

He's not what you would say stubborn. More, self-conscious, I suppose.

He is also emotionally delicate, too. Every comment, every insult cuts him right to the core. I see every wince, the way his eyes widen for a mere moment in time before glazing over with an unreadable sheen.

I remember vividly the one time I saw Kai cry. Tyson was in a really bad mood and took all his frustrations out on Kai, calling him a self-centered prick who needs to get his head out of his ass.

Yeah, ouch, huh?

The shock on Kai's face is something I will never forget. Instead of retaliating, he swallowed thickly and left the room. He had to walk passed me and that's how I saw them. Tears brimming in his eyes. I tell ya, it broke my heart.

He disappeared for a few hours after that. He snuck off outside. Didn't come back until the early hours in the morning. I, of course, waited up for him. He slipped inside without making a noise and slipped into bed. Not a word was said. I couldn't even get a proper look at him. But the way he was hiding his face from me tells me enough that he had been crying. He got a really bad fever that night and terrible nightmares as well.

All I could do was watch. It was hard, but there was nothing I could do for him. He wouldn't let me.

After that I tried to reprimand Tyson for every comment, but it never helped much. Kai was actually annoyed that I was involving myself in something that was none of my business. He pretty much told me not to waste my time.

But now, with every off hand comment anyone makes, he simply shrugs it off. Not caring. Miguel, on the other hand, bristles with each insult and glares hatefully at whoever made the comment. Kai would give him a look. Not a glare, merely a glance. A grateful glance. Miguel would calm down somewhat after that.

Miguel's protective of Kai, I guess. Not that I blame him. Anyone who seen Kai vulnerable would immediately feel the same.

I would go to hell and back for Kai.

And after seeing the way Miguel towards Kai, the soft looks, agreeing with whatever Kai says, the retaliation against Tyson whenever he says something against Kai. It's obvious he would do the same.

I tried to do that for Kai. But all I got was a "Don't bother" and a stern look. It's frustrating to say the least and I am interested to know what Miguel has done for Kai that I haven't.

I'm still trying to hate him, but the unfortunate thing is, Miguel is just too damn friendly to hate.

Kai doesn't know that I know about his secret relationship with Miguel. I can't tell him. He'd hate me if I told him the truth on how I found out. Following him wherever he goes in the middle of the night? Well, our friendship would go up in smoke.

And I can't lose that. Not now. It's all I have left.

Miguel, he must be something. Winning Kai's heart and trust so quickly. It took me years for Kai to acknowledge that we were even friends. He wouldn't tell me what he's favorite color is. What he's favorite book or movie. Hell, the only way I found out his middle name is from Mr. Dickinson. Still, I'm one of his best friends so I really shouldn't complain.

He's definitely a very secretive person. I wonder if he has told Miguel everything. About his past. About his dreams and his interests.

Watching from the sidelines is hard, but it's all I can do. It's all I could ever do. Watching as Kai cries silently after a fight with Tyson. Watching as he fights demons in his sleep. Watching as he works himself too hard and falls sick with a fever.

I told myself that I would get sick of watching and actually do something. But, I just didn't know what I could have done for him.

Apparently, Miguel does.

I don't have it in me to tell Kai my feelings for him and try to 'win' him from Miguel. I just can't do that to him. He's not a prize to be won. Not a possession to be kept. And it's obvious from the longing looks they send to each other when they think no one's looking how much they care for each other.

They deserve each other.

Argh, my head hurts. I roll over in bed and shove me head under the pillow. I want to hate some. Blame someone. But I can't. And it's bloody annoying.

Hate Kai? Yeah, right. I _like _him. Hate Miguel? No chance here, Kai loves him and he loves Kai. Hate the both of them. Not happening. Neither one knows of my feelings for Kai, so it's not like they're doing it to spite me. They simply don't have it in them.

"Ray? You awake?" Something suddenly prods me in the shoulder. It startles me and my first reaction is to get away. I slip out of bed and…

"Ah!" I hit the floor, with a loud thud. Ow. Nice, huh? I guess I was so deep in self pity that I didn't hear Kai sneak back in. I look back up at Kai, who merely gazes down at me, he eye reaching towards his hairline. That's Kai speak for are you ok? "Sorry, you startled me, Kai."

"Ray," Kai says softly, wrapping his long arms around himself as he sits on the edge of my bed.

"Is there something wrong, Kai?" I ask immediately as I pick myself up off the floor to sit next to him. I know that look in his eyes and that tone in his voice. He's uncertain, almost frighten about something.

He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, an obvious sign that he is nervous. "What would happen if I told you that I'm seeing someone?" he asks, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks as he curls a strand of blue hair behind his ear. "Hypothetically?"

I smile, even though my chest is hurting pretty bad. The pain increases a little when I place my hand on his shoulder. "Nothing would happen, Kai," I tell him as I mentally remind myself to keep smiling. "You're my best friend. All I want is for you to be happy."

Kai blinks his large ruby eyes at me a couple of times and my smile threatens to turn genuine. No one know how adorable Kai can be at times. Which is a shame. "Thanks, Ray," he whispers to me, a smile gracing his lips.

I just wished he could have been happy with me. But he deserves better than what I can give him.

A lump forms in my throat and I take a few breaths to ease the ache in my chest. "Who is it?" I ask, knowing the answer already.

The blush darkens as he looks away. "It's Miguel," he says.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes. Very."

"Then that's all that matters."

Kai sits in silence for a moment, before he leans over and gives me a hug, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. A hug that says; you're a good friend. A friend. I guess I can settle for that. After all, if Kai's happy and then I'm happy.

Though it may take some time for my smiles to become genuine every time he talks about Miguel. He'll never know my feelings for him.

And I plan to keep it that way.

* * *

Um, so, review? Please? 


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